It Starts With Hii...Not Tell Me Your Problems🙂‍↔️

 Walking into a counselling session sounds simple in theory.

But in reality? It’s slightly awkward.

You’re sitting across from someone you’ve just met and there’s this silent expectation like “Okay… now share your thoughts, feelings, and maybe your entire life story.”

No pressure at all 😭

But here’s the thing counselling doesn’t actually start with deep questions.

It starts with something much more important: building a counselling relationship.

Before anything serious happens the counsellor focuses on making the client feel comfortable. This can be through a calm tone, a welcoming attitude, or just simple conversation. It may not seem like much, but this first step matters a lot.

Because let’s be honest no one is going to open up to a complete stranger instantly. This is where rapport comes in. Rapport is basically the feeling of trust and comfort between the counsellor and the client. It’s what makes the space feel safe instead of awkward. And building rapport is not about saying something magical. It’s about small things listening properly, not interrupting, and responding in a way that shows you actually understand.

One thing I found really interesting is that counsellors don’t judge. At all.

You could say something confusing, emotional, or even embarrassing, and instead of reacting like a normal friend (WHAT???), a counsellor responds with calm understanding.That’s because counselling is built on non-judgment.

Another important part is confidentiality. The client needs to know that whatever they share will stay private. This helps in building trust, because opening up is already difficult enough without worrying about who might find out.

Then comes active listening which surprisingly is harder than it sounds. It’s not just nodding and saying “hmm.” It means actually paying attention, understanding emotions, and sometimes even noticing what the client is not saying.

And yes… there will be silence.

At first, silence feels uncomfortable. You might start overthinking “Should I say something? Did I say something wrong? Why is it so quiet??” But in counselling, silence is not awkward it’s meaningful. It gives space for thoughts and feelings to come out naturally. Slowly something changes.

The conversation becomes easier. The awkwardness reduces. And the room starts to feel like a safe space rather than just a formal setting. That’s when the real process of counselling begins.

So building a counselling relationship is not about jumping into problems or giving advice. It’s about creating a connection first because people don’t open up when they’re told to, they open up when they feel safe enough to.